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Friday, March 11, 2011

Proverbial Myth 4: “Soul mates are matches, made in heaven”…


This proverb is believed during engagements and questioned during separations and divorces. Despite of periodic believing and disbelieving almost all make a resolve at the end on it. The main weakness of this concept is that, heavens makes matches but seldom perfect matches. Even if you know one for long time and you think that you know a lot but still you can’t know enough to save yourself of not getting disappointed.

The divorce rates change greatly from one country to another and similarly from a culture and another. It also varies from rural to urban areas. Even it varies based on economical trends… So, these variations are enough to conclude that it is the culture, attitudes and conditions that affect the matches………
(You can have a look on 2010 census of marriages and divorce rate from 1980 to 2008 at following link,
Based on my observations, I think there are some common points that influence relationships (Of course, there are just in the context of personalities…)

a.       Everybody is unique in his/her personality so it is not logical to expect that likes and dislikes match altogether….

b.      We can’t know enough to save ourselves from disappointments so a safe way is keep a large room for disappointments…

c.       Everywhere there are some people who have pockets full of mocking and harmful jokes based on our (supposedly) weaknesses…. They usually become very curious and active at the beginning of relationships and influence the judgments….

d.      Pouring out all your feelings (the most famous phrase… I love you..) Will raise expectations (hence psychological pressures) and also are quick in leading to disappointments… so giving time to know each other well enough that you could recognize and digest differences in a pleasant way make it safe to pour out the feelings….

I should admit that I am not expert on this issue (my purpose is to highlight the myth of the proverb and that is it!!!) so you might disagree or might suggest more in depth suggestions… I welcome any…

1 comment:

  1. I think proverbs are an expression of our deductions which we do after our observations where according to this proverb we by our nature want a good life with a partner and then divorce comes as an exception to our want that's why our deductions can't highlight it.

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